Him (on the phone): Hey there, Megan Jo Wilson, I got your business card here and I'm calling to find out...how would you like to be on my TV show?

Me: Well...let's just start with first things first. Who the hell are you?

Him: I'm Jim. Jim Chard...like Swiss chard.

Me: Alright. So...tell me what you're looking for.

Jim: Well, I host a show on Harpswell community t.v. from 8-10 and I was hoping you could come up and play a set.

Me: When?

Jim: This Saturday.

Me: How long do you need me to play?

Jim: Oh, about 20 minutes or so...we usually have two or three acts come up and I'll introduce you and everything...

Me: Oh, ok...

Jim: Well, you know we can't pay you, but we'll give you a DVD at the end of the night, and it's a real good recordin' at the studio.

Me: Ok, Jim. Let me think about it. I gotta talk to my wing man and look at my calendar. Can I get back to you tomorrow?

Jim: Sure, sure. If I don't answer it's because I'm out in the yard cutting down a bunch of spruce. I'm gonna use 'em for rafters in my house.

Me: Oh yeah? Good for you, man.

Jim: Ok, then...you have a good night.

One week later. 7:30 pm. Harpswell Community T.V. station is locked. Jim Chard, Mark Butterfield (wing man) and I are waiting outside. The sun has gone for the day. It's cold. I pull out my guitar and wrap a sweater around my neck.

Jim: They should be here any minute now.

Me: Oh yeah?

Butter: Where are the rest of the acts?

Jim: Well...I'm not really sure. They're usually here by now. I don't know why they don't show up...maybe it's me. Maybe they don't want to share the stage with such an old guy.

Me: Well, I sure do!

Jim: Oh...here they come now.

Inside the station. Harpswell Girls Basketball coach is using the computer. There's an old birthday cake and a pizza on the kitchen table. The water cooler is empty.

Debby (volunteer station agent): We've got 10 minutes to live.

Me: So, this runs live on the air?

Debby: Yep.

Me: So what do we do since the other acts aren't here?

Jim: Well, you'll just have to play for an hour and then we'll cut the show short.

Me: Oh. Wow. Ok...let me just write a little set list.

Debby: 8 minutes to live.

Debby's Husband: Why don't you play a little so I can do a sound check?

Me: Sure thing...So, should I do my own promotion stuff?

Debby: Yeah...and make sure you don't mention any specific dates...we're going to run this all throughout the summer.

Me: Oh, ok great. You ready, Butter?

Butter: Yep. (pause) I can't hear my guitar.

Debby: 5 minutes.

Me: Can we get his guitar hooked up, please?

Debby's husband: Yep...we're working on it.

Me: Jim, are you going to play a tune with us at the end?

Jim: Yeah...you know Franklin's Tower?

Me: Um...do I know that one, Butter?

Jim: It's just two chords. G and D. You know how it goes...Roll away...the dew.

Debby: 2 minutes.

Me: Ok. Yeah...I can do that. I just need to tune up real quick.

Debby's husband: Keep singing, I need to get a level!

Me: Yep. So...when will I know when to wrap up?

Debby: We'll tell you...30 seconds.

Me: You ready, Butter?

B: Yep.

Jim (on stage): Hello Harpswell...welcome to Harpswell sound...and live from Harpswell it's Saturday night. This is Megan...and she's from Portland, South Portland area and all that...and this is Mahk.

Debby's husband (from the sound booth): Talk into the mic!

Jim: Oh yeah...I was just about to do that...This is Megan and this is Mark.

Me: Thank you Jim. Yes. I'm Megan Jo Wilson and this is Mark Butterfield and we're going to play some of my original tunes. This first one is called "Take Me Away." One...two...one two three four...