6:15 p.m. San Miguel, Mexico. Overcast. Warm breeze. Drums and trumpets in the distance. A parade. "Dia de Trabajo."

H: "Are you drinking scotch?"

R: "Just a taste."

Me: "We're hittin' the booze and crawling around."

Dog barking.

Birds, birds, birds chirping. Birds wings fluttering in the peppercorn tree. Bang! Firecracker. Se llaman 'cuetes.' Ice rattling in a glass. Silence. Four women in two rooms sitting in the luxury of silence. Clackety clack of the keyboard. Breeze moving through the trees.

"Ooooh!" someone in the distance. Breeze, breeze, breeze.

Toilet flushing. Bang! Silence. Four women in silence. Gratitude.

Heartache. Bang! Gratitude.

R: (collapsing on the couch) "Oh, yeah baby."

Dogs, dogs, dogs barking. Sirens driving by getting louder...getting quieter.

Birds. Heartache. Sip of white wine. Phone rings.

R: "Hello? Johnnie? No, I don't think so. I think you have the wrong number. Ok. Sure."

Mom: "Johnnie?!"

H: "Boy do they have the wrong number."

R: "Then he wanted to know who this was...you don't call the wrong number and then ask who this is! (pause) Johnnie. Cuckuroockoockoo."

Mom: "Ok, I'm really only reading the right-hand page of this book. It's all this book deserves." (pause) "Megan?"

Me: "Yes?"

Mom: "What attracted you to this book?"

Me: "I don't know...I only read a paragraph and just...liked the imagery. Something about drinking the milk out of the coconut and tossing the empty skulls."

R: "It was probably on a page you skipped!"

Trucks passing. Birds. Birds. Silence. Flipping of pages.

Me: "I can't believe I forgot the cord to upload my photos. I had it right on my table. I knew I forgot something."

Mom: "I left my socks."

H: "We'll find one tomorrow."

Me: "You think we can find one?"

H: "Oh yeah...this is such a tourist town."

Me: "That's true."

Gratitude.

Trust.

Big overwhelming gratitude.

Now.

Now.

Now.

Butter: How old is that there guitar?

Jim Chard: I bought this guitar in 1966.

Butter: Mind if I give it a try?

Jim Chard: Sure...sure...Listen you two should come up to the cabin to see my wife and I. We can get out the mandolin and record some tunes and smoke a dube.

Butter: Yeah...we should do that.

Him (on the phone): Hey there, Megan Jo Wilson, I got your business card here and I'm calling to find out...how would you like to be on my TV show?

Me: Well...let's just start with first things first. Who the hell are you?

Him: I'm Jim. Jim Chard...like Swiss chard.

Me: Alright. So...tell me what you're looking for.

Jim: Well, I host a show on Harpswell community t.v. from 8-10 and I was hoping you could come up and play a set.

Me: When?

Jim: This Saturday.

Me: How long do you need me to play?

Jim: Oh, about 20 minutes or so...we usually have two or three acts come up and I'll introduce you and everything...

Me: Oh, ok...

Jim: Well, you know we can't pay you, but we'll give you a DVD at the end of the night, and it's a real good recordin' at the studio.

Me: Ok, Jim. Let me think about it. I gotta talk to my wing man and look at my calendar. Can I get back to you tomorrow?

Jim: Sure, sure. If I don't answer it's because I'm out in the yard cutting down a bunch of spruce. I'm gonna use 'em for rafters in my house.

Me: Oh yeah? Good for you, man.

Jim: Ok, then...you have a good night.

One week later. 7:30 pm. Harpswell Community T.V. station is locked. Jim Chard, Mark Butterfield (wing man) and I are waiting outside. The sun has gone for the day. It's cold. I pull out my guitar and wrap a sweater around my neck.

Jim: They should be here any minute now.

Me: Oh yeah?

Butter: Where are the rest of the acts?

Jim: Well...I'm not really sure. They're usually here by now. I don't know why they don't show up...maybe it's me. Maybe they don't want to share the stage with such an old guy.

Me: Well, I sure do!

Jim: Oh...here they come now.

Inside the station. Harpswell Girls Basketball coach is using the computer. There's an old birthday cake and a pizza on the kitchen table. The water cooler is empty.

Debby (volunteer station agent): We've got 10 minutes to live.

Me: So, this runs live on the air?

Debby: Yep.

Me: So what do we do since the other acts aren't here?

Jim: Well, you'll just have to play for an hour and then we'll cut the show short.

Me: Oh. Wow. Ok...let me just write a little set list.

Debby: 8 minutes to live.

Debby's Husband: Why don't you play a little so I can do a sound check?

Me: Sure thing...So, should I do my own promotion stuff?

Debby: Yeah...and make sure you don't mention any specific dates...we're going to run this all throughout the summer.

Me: Oh, ok great. You ready, Butter?

Butter: Yep. (pause) I can't hear my guitar.

Debby: 5 minutes.

Me: Can we get his guitar hooked up, please?

Debby's husband: Yep...we're working on it.

Me: Jim, are you going to play a tune with us at the end?

Jim: Yeah...you know Franklin's Tower?

Me: Um...do I know that one, Butter?

Jim: It's just two chords. G and D. You know how it goes...Roll away...the dew.

Debby: 2 minutes.

Me: Ok. Yeah...I can do that. I just need to tune up real quick.

Debby's husband: Keep singing, I need to get a level!

Me: Yep. So...when will I know when to wrap up?

Debby: We'll tell you...30 seconds.

Me: You ready, Butter?

B: Yep.

Jim (on stage): Hello Harpswell...welcome to Harpswell sound...and live from Harpswell it's Saturday night. This is Megan...and she's from Portland, South Portland area and all that...and this is Mahk.

Debby's husband (from the sound booth): Talk into the mic!

Jim: Oh yeah...I was just about to do that...This is Megan and this is Mark.

Me: Thank you Jim. Yes. I'm Megan Jo Wilson and this is Mark Butterfield and we're going to play some of my original tunes. This first one is called "Take Me Away." One...two...one two three four...

Please describe your most significant goals and achievements in terms of personal growth (1800 characters).*

In terms of personal growth, my most significant goals have been recording and producing my first solo CD, attaining a brown belt in Martial Arts, and getting hired as a consultant for an important research project at the company where I was formerly working in an administrative role.

The production of the CD was very important to my growth. It took a tremendous amount of patience and discipline. I maintained my vision of the long-term goal while continuously following through with minute details of the project. In this way, I was able to accomplish a dream I have had for many years.

Studying Martial Arts has also been very influential in terms of my personal growth. Attaining a brown belt after 6 years of committed training is an enormous accomplishment for me. Martial Arts is a practice in discipline, relaxation, focus and self-trust. This practice informs every area of my life.

In addition, I am an ass-hole. I like to wear wigs and costumes. I came into this world knowing that I wanted to sing and laugh and perform. I used to sing into the garden hose. The song went:

Microphone juice in my hair...Microphone juice everywhere...Microphone juice in my hair microphone juuuice everywhere.

I used to sing Tina Turner in the yard. She changed my life. I am a bit of a spazz, but I am glad to be alive and I don't generally judge people too quickly. I have an open mind and a big heart. I believe that the world of business could use more creative spazzes such as myself.

My greatest fear is to become a middle-of-the-road stressed-out neurotic business woman. My other greatest fear is to become a bitch. I don't know if I will do well in business school, but I love to learn and I love school. I love Italy. I have a knack for business strategy. I don't know why. I don't really even believe in capitalism, but business makes sense to me. A business full of smart, fulfilled individuals who are doing good work is a successful business. I want to run a successful business. I want to work for myself and own my time.

I am obsessed with Spanish and Latin culture in general, but I promise to learn Italian. It really is a beautiful language and I know I can pick it up relatively quickly. I love food. I love dancing. I love reading and writing. I am desperate to get out of this country. I don't belong here and I've known it for a long time. If you don't accept me to this program, I will punch you in the neck and it will hurt. If you do accept me, I will do good things and I will contribute to your beautiful country. You'll get lots of money for it and I will be glad to pay for it. Thank you.


*From the Bocconi Business School MBA Programme Application for Admission in 2006 (Milan, Italy)

Me: "Take a picture of us, take a picture of us."*

R: "Hey, don't tell me what to do!"

M: "I'll give you a picture..."

S: "I bet you will..."

B: "Damn, that was a meal."

D: "Hey choach...do you want some of my 'nookie?'

Me: "It's gnocci. Nyoe-key. Not nookie, honey."

D: "Next time I come here I'm going to get five orders of nookie."

D: "Gnocci!"

Me: "Take a picture of us, come on."

D: "Maybe if she wasn't so busy talking to B, she would take your picture."

R: "Give me the G D camera."

M: "I'll take a picture. Seriously."

Me: "Should we get another bottle of wine?"

S: "I think we should probably get going. Yikes."

D: "Let's get some dessert...What do you want, buggers?"

S: "There's still a piece of steak here...How dare we? We have to eat it."

Me: "We have to. Fucking incredible."

D: "Do you want to get some dessert?"

Me: "Cheesecake! I want cheesecake...(To very patient server) Do you have cheesecake?"

Server: "We have lemon cheesecake."

Me: "Perfect! We'll take one slice with 80 spoons, please."

B: "I aint eatin' no cheesecake."

M: "Who's coming dancing with us?"

Me: "Boob! Take the picture."

R: "I am! Shut your a-hole face!"

Me: "Ok."

S: "So then I says, I says, I says..."

Inner monologue to self : Smile like you're not drunk. You'll want this photo later. Focus. Smile like you're not drunk...


*Author's note: Due to the several martini-i and glass-i of wine that I drank, this is absolutely not an exact transcription of actual conversations had during my birthday dinner. I intended to capture the essence of the gleeful fun that was had, and the characters of my absurdly wonderful soul mate friends. Hope y'all haters aint gonna bring me in to a therapy sesh with Oprah.

Me: "Hi Mom."

Mom: Hola mi hija. (singing) "Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday my dear sweet Megan...Happy Birthday to you."

Me: "Hmmm."

Mom: "Are you still sleeping?"

Me: "Yeah."

Mom: "Oooh ... I told you not to answer so I could sing to you on your voicemail."

Me: "That's ok. I like it. What time is it there?"

Mom: "Oh, it's about noon, and I'm in an empty hallway and I'm in the middle of a big meeting. I'm going to be a Stalker Mom today."

Me: "Good."

Mom: "So...30 years ago I woke up and it was the first sunny day of spring in Illinois."

Me: "Hmmm."

Mom: "And my mom and dad were at the house and they had been there for two weeks because we thought you were going to be born on my birthday. And my mom made me eggs and toast I said, 'I think I'm going to throw up.' And she said, 'Well, that usually means you're going to go into labor.

And sure enough I went to the bathroom to pee and there was more water than just pee (little laugh) and then we went to the hospital."

Me: "What were you wearing?"

Mom: "I had on maternity jeans and a blue and white plaid maternity shirt and a turtleneck and my pressed cardboard peacoat that I threw into the dumpster and the nurses thought it was a mistake a dug it out of the dumpster to return it to me..."

Me: "Oh yeah...That's right."

Mom: "Yeah. And...I'm not sure exactly the time, but you were born around 3 in the afternoon. I remember because the nurse's shift ended at 2:30 and she decided to stay to see you come out.

And I had so much Vick's Vapor Rub and Ben Gay on my lower back that all the nurses would walk into the room and their eyes would tear up."

Me: "I hurt your lower back?"

Mom: "Yes because you came out face up so your little baby skull was on my back bone but that meant that your face didn't get crushed so I didn't care."

Me: (little laugh)

Mom: "And you came out and you were so alert and your eyes were open so wide that you looked...Weird."

(laughing)

"And they told me you were a girl and I saw you and I said, 'No...I can see a penis!' and I was so crushed and I felt awful for being crushed and they said, 'That's not a penis, that's the umbilical cord!"

(laughing)

"I wanted a girl so bad. So bad. And you had no hair but they managed somehow to tape a little pink bow on your bald head."

Me: "Hmmm."

Mom: "And my Dad went out and bought you a frilly frilly pink dress..."

Me: "And my pink bunny rabbit."

Mom: "Yes. Oh! Ok. I have to go back in."

Me: "You go in there and be a big successful Big Mamma."

Mom: "Ok...I'll go be a big Mamma."

Me: "Call me every five minutes."

Mom: "I will!"

Me: "I love you."

Mom: "I love you too."

Me: "Does anyone know where the boom box is? I want to put on some music."

Co-worker #1: "It's in room 320. You know, I just realized today that since you're not a morning person, it's kind of crazy that we're celebrating at 8:30 in the morning."

Me: "Yeah, it is. I'll be back."

Boss #1 (entering): "Ooooh, pretty tulips! That's a nice thought."

Co-worker #1: "Megan brought those."

Boss #1: "Oh...you brought flowers to your own party?"

Me: "Yeah, I sure did. So, where is everyone?"

Co-worker #2 : "I don't know...I'll go do a quick sweep. I sent an e-mail."

Co-worker #3: "Yeah, I actually have to go, I have a 9 o'clock. Best of luck with everything."

Me: "Thanks."

(cue crickets chirping)

Me: "Well, I'd like to take this opportunity to read a poem that I wrote at midnight last night."

Boss #1: "You wrote a poem for your own party?"

Me: "I did:

My how time sure flies when you're having so much fun
Seems like just a lifetime ago that I was meeting everyone
I tried to do my best to prove that I was a real smarty
So for my first assignment, I arranged my boss's goodbye party.

One boss, two boss, three boss more
Management looks fun you just go in and out the door.
It's all about the friends you make the laughter and the journey
It's lucky that I'm leaving on my feet and not a gurney.

I'll miss all of laughter, the tears I won't miss at all
If you need costumes for the barbecue, you know who to call."

Boss #1: "Oh that's wonderful! We should print that and hang it on the wall."

Me: "Thanks. I just thought..."

Boss #2: "Well this certainly demonstrates what we're going to be losing...you bring style to everything you do. You brought the flowers, the music, the poetry. We're really going to miss having you around."

Me: "Thank you. Thank you very much."